I guess people do a lot of handshaking in France.
I wanted to let you know there's an opening on the water ballet team.
I can make a call if you want. Come on.
All right. Studs and babes with Roy!
Why aren't you with Ricky?
Well, nice meeting you.
Good night.
Why weren't you there as I told you?
- I told her, Mom. - I know.
Don't you understand English?
Bye.
Two dollars.
- Two dollars. - Two dollars.
Keys!
Hi. How was your date?
They're out there. They're after me.
Happy New Year.
- Honey, where's Lane? - He just came in.
He went skiing this morning with Charles De Mar.
I think he's in the shower.
In me, you see
A man alone
What's taking him so long?
It's his first day at work. I don't want him to be late.
A man who listens
To the trembling of the trees
With sentimental ease
In me, you see
A man alone
Behind the wall
He's learned to call his own
A man who still goes
Walkin'in the rain
- Expecting love again - You better...
- So you're Al Myer's kid. - Yes, I am.
- You look pretty stupid to me. - Thank you.
Let's see if you have any brains. First you take the meat.
- You understand? - Yeah.
Then you pat it in the pig mold.
- Push it in the pig mold. - This is a push.
This is a pat.
Then take the pig mold and put it on the tray.
Now put on this hat.
See that sign up there?
You wear it with pride. Put it on!
You gotta have pride and class in this business. Understand?
Now...
What's that?
Those are the keys to this establishment.
I want you in here at 6:00 a.m. Saturday morning.
This place has to be mopped up before the breakfast crew get here.
- Roger. - All right.
- Where you goin'? - I'm gonna go wash my hands.
- I gotta mold and pat. - Wash your hands on your own time.
- Now, get to work. - Yes, sir.
- Fat pig. - What?
Pat. Pat pig.
Everybody wants some.
I'll show you what everybody wants.
They call me mad! Mad! Mad!
Me, a fool?
It's alive!
Oh, yeah
Yeah, yeah
You can't get romantic on a subway line
Conductor don't like it
Says you're wastin'your time
But everybody wants some
I want some too
Everybody wants some
Baby, how 'bout you
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I seen a lot of people lookin'for a moonbeam
Yeah, ya spent a lot Ya got lost in the jet stream
Everybody wants some I want some too
Oops.
Lookin' really good today, buddy.
Lookin' real good.
Goon.
All right.
This is it.
- Look, Barney, a falling star. - Yeah.
- Let's make a wish. -A wish?
If you wish on a falling star, your wish will come true.
No kiddin'?
- What did you wish for, Betty? - Can't tell ya.
It would spoil the wish.
- Don't tell me your wish either. - I won't.
Hey there. I know this is awkward, me being a cartoon and all.
I was just wondering how you'd feel if I took out Beth.
Matches.
Where have you been? We've all been waiting for you.
You come and sit right down here.
- Have you met Monique? - Hi.
Now, in honor of our special guest, I've created "Dinner Mon Dieu."
First we have...
"Fraunch" fries.
And...
"Fraunch" dressing.
And "Fraunch" bread.
And to drink... ta-da!
"Peru."
You really do go to the outer limits to make an impression.
Monique, enjoying your stay in our town?
I say, are enjoying your stay in our town?
- She doesn't speak English, Dad. - Of course she does.
- Are you enjoying your stay... - It's no good, Al.
- She don't speak a word. - Wait a minute.
I thought foreign exchange students had to speak some English.
Well, as we're discovering around our household...
you don't need words to speak the international language.
Right, Ricky?
The international language.
You know... love.
The language of love.
I think Monique and our little Ricky have a regular...
cross-continental romance brewing here.
- Him? And her? - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
That makes sense.
What does that mean?
I think she wants to use the bathroom.
It's down the hall, second door on the left.
Jennifer, this is fabulous liqueur.
Reminds me of the moonshine Ricky's dead pappy used to make.
- God bless him. - Mrs. Smith! No! Wait!
I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky. Doctor said she'll be okay.
I guess she just won't be able to eat any spicy foods for a while.
Not now.
- What do they want? - They want a race.
- Lane Myer, the kid from Greendale. - Here's a good example.
- I don't know. - Brothers. One speaks no English.
The other learned English from watching the Wide World of Sports.
You tell me which is better... speaking no English at all...
or speaking Howard Cosell.
The chances seem slim that this once-great has the nerve...
the desire to win, that he once had.
You must obey the proper speed limits. A car is not a toy.
- We'll take these guys! - It's a close race.
Myer takes the lead. This could go in Myer's favor.
You're exceeding the speed limit. Lane Myer, slow down.
Myer takes the lead. This could go in Myer's favor.
It looks very, very close.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Ricky's dead.
Ricky, are you dead? I think he's dead. Monique.
Monique, I'm sorry.
I'm telling my mom.
See you later.
Ever since I got my license, those kamikaze pilots have been after me.
If I only had my Camaro running. If I had my Camaro running...
I would blow those boys off the street... vroom.
That thing goes so fast. It's got an engine...
Looks good, huh?
I guess after my mom's cooking, you'll probably tolerate anything.
Have a Ding Dong. They're good.
There they are.
Don't get me wrong. My mom means well, she really does.
Cooking's her new thing. She cooks all the time now.
- It's better than it used to be. - Hey! Buenos dias.
I stopped by to tell you I'm gonna be picking a new captain...
for the ski team on Sunday.
All you gotta do to be captain, Myer, is beat me.
The tryouts won't be the same if you're not there, champ.
So what are you and Myer talking about?
Is he telling you what a great lover he is?
She only speaks French, Roy. She doesn't speak "imbecile."
There's one language I speak that all women understand.
Just ask your last girlfriend.
Would you like to learn some new words?
Shit! Stupid!
- What's going on here? - Nothing!
Myer's new frog girlfriend here is just as much of a clod as he is.
Hold on. You think you're such a big tough guy because you're captain.
The truth is, I could out-ski you any day of the week.
- Really? - You want a race, I'll take you on.
- Yeah, I'm sure. - From the K-12, champ.
- Chicken? - What did you say?
- Anytime. You name it. - You're diggin' your own grave.
No one has to know. Just me and you.
Sunday. High noon.
You're on.
This just in. Lane Myer will be racing Roy Stalin...
down K-12 this Sunday at noon.
I must be brain-damaged. I'm gonna race. I'm gonna lose.
And I'm gonna die.
That? Is my car. The Camaro.
Remember? I was telling you about it before? It doesn't work.
My little brother, he's building a space shuttle out of appliances.
That thing's going to work. I can't get that out of the driveway.
I'll talk to you later. I gotta go.
Smitty? Yo, Smitty!
How's it going? Here's the ski you called about.
My God. What happened to you? You're all mangled.
- You get hit by a truck? - I was trying to ski the K-12.
After the Olympics, everything looked so damned easy.
You gotta be a real moron to try to ski that run, you know?
Yeah.
- Charge it. - Have a nice day.
This is as bad as it will ever get.
I want my two dollars! Two dollars!
I want my two dollars!
No! I can't swim!
Something wrong, Monique?
Nice talking to you.
Hell, yes, something is wrong!
This, how you say, "dorkhead"...
is an unleashed sex fiend.
Look. He will not leave me alone. He thinks because I stay here...
I am his love goddess, his prostrate.
No. Prostitute.
Holy shit. You big faker. You speak English.
But of course I speak English. I speak very good English.
I will not, however, speak Mrs. Smith's...
international language of love with this reptilian son.
Well, honk my hooter!
I don't believe it. You've understood everything we've said?
Look, Lane. If you were living with a family like that...
the less you spoke, the happier you would be, I promise you.
God, I never thought of that.
I thought if Casanova and I had nothing to say to each other...
he'd get bored, go away.
Instead, he used it as a chance to put his testicles all over me.
His what?
How you say... octopus, testicles?
Tentacles. "N-t." Tentacles.
- Tentacles. - There's a big difference.
All I want is to come to the States and see Dodger Stadium.
Now all I see is that... that face in my door every time I move.
Dodgers, huh? I notice you have a pretty good pitching arm.
What else is there that is of interest in the States...
but the Brooklyn Dodgers?
I don't know. You might find a nice friend.
You do have friends in France?
You know... friend.
Friend.
- Then you will not tell? - That you're a Dodgers fan?
No. That I speak English.
- Cross my heart and hope to die. - Do you?
Not at the moment.
What are you doin' out here? Do you know what time it is?
Get in here before you catch your death.
Jesus.
You are my friend. Good night.
Good luck.
Is that Myer boy bothering you?
Little Ricky's been lookin' all over for you.
We've been worried sick.
Damn.
Hello? Hello?
No, thanks. I already had breakfast. What are you doing to my car?
What are you doing to my Camaro?
Monique, what are you doing to my car? It's already screwed up.
- "Screwed up"? - Yeah. Very.
You got my car running! You brought my car back from the dead.
- From the dead? - Yeah.
- Not entirely. - Can you put that back in?
Together? Where it goes?
If I cannot, I am sure you will.
I have a great fear of tools. I once made a birdhouse in wood shop...
and the Fair Housing Committee condemned it.
"I cannot do it" is your middle name.
Come. Help me push this into the garage.
I think you're kind of remarkable. How'd you learn to do all this?
Some things are not that hard to understand, Lane.
Like you, for instance. You think of these ways of killing yourself...
yet you never do it.
- Why is this? - Isn't that kind of personal?
But I told you the sordid details of my intimate sex life with Ricky.
I just figured you could explain this dramatic death wish.
I used to go out with this girl named Beth.
I really thought I loved her, and she dumped me.
And I guess I thought I couldn't live without her or something.
You would die to get the attention of this woman?
You know, Lane, there are better ways of getting attention.
Yeah. When she dumped me, she dumped me for this real slimebag...
a guy named Stalin.
I race Stalin tomorrow. Oh, my God. I have to get to a cave right now.
No. This is what I speak of.
This is good way of getting this attention, when we beat him.
- Beat him? I can't beat him. - Yes!
I think all you need is a small taste of success.
You will find it suits you.
Step up.
One minute.
Voila.
Hold that thought.
I got these for Christmas.
Bon appetit.
Monique, I just wanted to thank you for everything.
Merci buckets.
Wait. I forgot the most important thing.
Look at this! How am I supposed to live through this?
All you've got to do is go that way really fast.
If something gets in your way, turn.
Watch. It's no sweat.
Now you!
Hell, if you can do it...
Lane, are you all right?
You're mad about me, aren't you?
I'm okay, really. Nothing's broken. It's just a little... Thank you.
I'm telling you, practically everybody in the state of Northern California...
is around this particular mountain waiting to see one Lane Myer...
tackle this totally untamed slope, dead or alive.
So get the lead out. That is all.
- Well, I guess this is it. - Please hurry.
We have unfinished business. Do not forget.
- Language lessons. - You gonna teach me French?
The international language.
Kick his ass.
Shit!
I want my two dollars!
Oh, my God.
Two dollars!
- I want my two dollars! - Of course the guy chickened out.
He's just a geek. Listen, the wet wimp ain't gonna show up.
Of course not. So what do you want us to do? Pack it up?
I tell you what. While I'm up here, might as well break one more record.
- We'll set the synchros for ya. - Ten-four.
Spencer, we're gonna send Roy down alone.
- Looks like Myer is not gonna show. - Count me down.
- Myer, you don't know when to quit. - Myer's on the hill!
- Two dollars! - Go!
Go!
- He's skiing on one ski! - What?
Two dollars! Two dollars!
- There's something following them. - What?
Two dollars!
I want my two dollars!
- I want my two dollars! - Not now.
Two dollars!
Get out of here! Get lost! Get out of here. Take a hike, brat.
Two dollars.
They're coming out of the woods!
Come on, little buckaroo! Come on!
You fiend! Man, you're the hottest thing since sunburn!
- Nice try. - Get lost.
Lane, you really are the best.
- We've been worried about you. - What are you doing up here?
Do you know how long a drive it is to get here?
Get her skis. We're goin' home.
Excuse me.
This was a sublime metamorphosis of the Lane Myer...
I think the crowds were expecting to see here...
at Brody Mountain today.
Perhaps you can tell us what brought on...
such an enchanting, exhilarating fate?
Language lessons.
Inspired words from a man who knows how to ski.
You're nothing but a little tramp, you know.
I don't know what Ricky even sees in you.
- What are you doing with her? - She's coming with me.
- She's coming with us. - Wrong.
You would be wise to do as Mother says, Myer.
Do something to him.
Son of a bitch!
Come on, honey! Nail the sucker!
What are you doing to him?
Come on. That's a boy.
Come on.
Ricky, where are you going?
ShooCat's resynchronization split and resynchronized :-)